I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize
