3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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