id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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