last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
