That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
