Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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