My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
