Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
