Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
