just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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