yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
