my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
