she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
