dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
