I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
