this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize