He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
