I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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