I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
