dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
