3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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