He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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