I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
