was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
