It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
