it hurts more in the daytime
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
