i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
