K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
