I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
