he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
