is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
