Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
