his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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