i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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