Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
