She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
