Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
