TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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