I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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