He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
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