4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
