Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
