how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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