This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
