and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize