I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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