mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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