never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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