I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
