They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
