then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
