Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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