Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize