your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
