i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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