yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
