With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
