okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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