he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
