we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
