I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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