doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
