You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
