Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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