Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
