it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
