Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
