this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
