Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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